I was watching Monday Night Football last night and grew increasingly angry with every hollow commercial and seemingly routine, obligatory shout-out to our veterans, which happened with maddening frequency.  This particular phenomenon, which I call “faux patriotism”, has been a particular bête noire of mine for some years now.  Let me be clear: I have no problem with the holiday of Veterans Day or our rightful recognition of those who have sacrificed enormously and heroically for our country.  These servicemen and women should be rightfully celebrated and honored for the depth and importance of their sacrifices and their courage in protecting our freedoms and our way of life.  What bothers me is the knee-jerk, seemingly insincere reaction of the general public and corporations that instinctively tie this celebration to the glorification of the military in general, empty efforts to tout their patriotism, and the desire to cash in on it.

Before going into my specific grievances and suggestions for ways to improve the situation, I think a bit of personal and historical context is important.  I am a veteran.  I served in the US Air Force for four years from 1996-2000.  I did so almost exclusively because the military paid for my expensive private university education.  I was not motivated by an overwhelming sense of patriotism or a call to duty.  I was a good military officer by job performance and a poor one by the standards of conduct set forth in the Universal Code of Military Justice.  I never had the opportunity to deploy to an overseas location (despite numerous requests to be able to do so), and I had to the good fortune of serving under a president who did not send us to war.  When I got out of the military in 2000, I moved to Switzerland to teach at a boarding school, which is where I was when 9/11 happened.

When I returned to the US in December of 2001 for the first time after the attacks, I noticed a profound change in the ethos of the country.  Every car sported an American flag sticker and almost every home flew an American flag outside.  What was this sudden wave of patriotism and why did it take a terrorist attack to unearth it?  I was mystified, feeling no such similar surge in love for my country.  I admired the US as a bastion of democracy but continued to perceive the many flaws I had before, including the alarming power of the militant wing of American politics and its ability to manipulate the general public into support for jingoistic, deleterious measures like the PATRIOT Act and the second Iraq War.  People seemingly had abandoned their discretion, their respect for freedom and liberty, and their good sense.  And then it happened.  “Were you in the military?” some random woman asked me when I was in line at a grocery store (I still had my reserve military ID in my wallet then).  “Yes, I was in the Air Force,” I replied, somewhat confused.  “Thank you for your service” she said with a grave and solemn air.  “OK,” I said, still very puzzled at why she thought this chapter of my life relevant.  But this interaction happened over and over in the coming years.  And it had never once happened during the four years during which I was actually in the Air Force.  On active duty.  When I wore my uniform on a daily basis.  When I was actually sacrificing something (in my case, more personal freedom and professional opportunity than my physical safety).  I don’t want to impugn the likely good intentions of the many people who have said this to me in the 18 years since 9/11, but it often rings hollow with me and feels obligatory.  But I realize that this may very well not be the case for many others who have served, and especially those who have lost loved ones, or limbs, or a chance at a normal life.

At the end of the day, to me, this is what Veterans Day should really be about.  We should honor those who have truly sacrificed for our country.  We should recognize the hardships that these men and women endured in fighting for our freedoms and protecting our way of life.  Many of my friends who served have spent months or even years away from their families in remote locations in Korea, Kuwait, or Afghanistan.  We should recognize that even if we didn’t agree with the political choices of our leaders, that these people still made difficult sacrifices in places like Vietnam and Iraq.  We should honor their courage and their heroism. Our society throws around the word “hero” far too casually these days, bestowing it upon sports stars and everyone who ever donned a uniform.  I am not a hero.  I’ve done some really good things in my life and things about which I’m not proud, like most people.  But I have not had to serve in combat, or make life or death choices, or had my future interrupted or forever impaired by virtue of service to country.  Which is why the best thing we can do to honor veterans is to support them when they come home.  They should get generous educational benefits to restart their lives, as the Greatest Generation did when they returned from WWII.  They should get the best medical and psychiatric care when needed.  And they shouldn’t get the short shrift from administrations that pour money into wars at obscene rates and then balk at the cost of taking care of the wounded thereafter.  We should support candidates who in turn support our veterans, proposing measures for veterans benefits, for more modern and well-funded VA centers, for tackling the ridiculous suicide rates among veterans (17 per day according to the VA), for accesses to cannabis for those veterans suffering long-term pain, and for support for the homeless population (veterans make up almost 10% of the total US homeless population).  And we should shame and remove those politicians who do not.

What Veterans Day should not be about is flag-waving and chest-thumping.  About people and companies shouting from the rooftops how very patriotic they are.  About the NFL sporting camo gear for the month of November, which is superficial and sanctimonious bullshit.  About various companies who claim to military-friendly and then do not offer veterans’ preferences.  I’ll excuse USAA on this account because they are one of the few companies to actually offer reliable, quality non-profit services to military members that bring value-added to the military community.  But the rest of these disingenuous, band-wagoning, faux patriotic companies can shove it.  And please don’t simply thank me for my service, though it may come from a good place.  I’d much rather you support initiatives and politicians who support fully funding VA services and comprehensive solutions to the many physical and psychological damages that war and conflict inflict.

Here is what we can do.  Support all veterans, not just the clean-cut ones with military-looking haircuts (like me) that you encounter at the grocery store.  Support the Vietnam, or increasingly Iraq and Afghanistan, vet who is homeless because of the mental illness brought on by war by voting for these initiatives.  Support your VA hospitals by researching candidates’ and incumbents’ records on these issues.  Donate to great causes like Homes for Our Troops, Wounded Warrior Project, or numerous others.

For the next iteration of Veterans Day, I would love to see us reclaim its true meaning, absent the commercialism and hollow incantations of “thank you for your service”.  I would like our country to take more meaningful actions to support our current veterans and prevent future veterans from having to undertake the same sacrifices and suffering with a more rational, prudent, and thoughtful foreign policy.  Not all wars are unavoidable, as the Greatest Generation taught us, nor should all be avoided.  And it is not the fault of those who fought in foolish wars that they heeded the call and fought for their country.  But we can make sure that show more discretion in future foreign policy decisions.  And that we honor these fine people, or the memories of those who gave their lives, by committing to honoring what they fought for at home and taking care of them upon their return or their loved ones should they not return.  That would truly be thanking them for their service.